I have tried writing this introduction sentence about ten times, but it ends up sounding too much like a line from a comedy act “Ever notice how….” or a self-help book “We would all be better off if …” I think this is better, you get to see how I fashion this stream of conscious writing into something so profound it will become the required reading in the preface to the DSM 5 or 6 (look it up, both the reference if you do not know what the DSM is and the number they are on. I can’t do everything here, take some responsibility for helping me make sense of this.)
Someone told me today, in what I hope was a positive comment, that all of my rambling stories seem to have a sad ending, but are not actually sad stories and somehow the sadness is not actually sadness, but is a kind of resolution to the story. I am taking quite a bit of liberties with what exactly was said, sorry, this is my show.
My point is why assume a particular situation is sad, that is just one way to look at that situation. Failure and sadness can often lead to growth and joy, and even is they don’t these emotions are just temporary situations we find ourselves in. Tomorrow will be different, five minutes from now will be different. Change is the only thing we can really know for sure will happen.
We want people to like us, so we perform, or are we? I do not feel as if I am performing, I am just being myself. If it is entertaining or interesting, all the better, but it is just me trying to make sense of the complicated mess of emotions, thoughts, memories, distractions we all have on the internal monologue running in the background of our minds, all day, every day. Some people can make better sense of it than others, some people can ignore it. I choose to embrace it, and make it my narrative.
Is this photo of a deflated ball on the ground a sad photo? I do not see it as sad at all, it makes me smile. The bright colored ball, surrounded by the leaves on a sunny afternoon walk with my daughter as we went to the record store (I bought her a Belle and Sebastian record, ok I like them too, a record by the punk band Middle Class and the classic by Gang of Four, Entertainment!). Context is what makes it a “happy” or “sad” photo.
The more important question to ask, are you impressed by my record buying choices?